Patient Experience > Carers

Supporting someone with chronic (long term) pelvic pain can be extremely challenging for carers as well as patients as the lives and activities of carers are inevitably affected and may be significantly restricted as a result. Patients themselves may feel a hindrance and/or guilty that they are preventing those supporting them from carrying out their normal activities. This can lead to a huge strain in relationships, and in some cases isolation, for patients if their support network breaks down. It is important for carers to:

• •  try to be patient: it can take a long time to find something that eases chronic pain
• •  be observant. Just because someone with pain does not speak about it all the time does not mean that they are not suffering. Most people know what it is like to have a severe headache or toothache and know how that affects their mood and temper. If, as a carer you find it difficult to understand, feel bitter or angry, imagine having to cope with such pain frequently, or all of the time and how that would affect you. This may alter the way you think and behave as a carer.
• •  understand that those with severe and constant pain may not want to ask for help; pride may be involved in this.

You may be able to tell whether someone is struggling with pain by their mood. If this is the case, what about offering to help them without having to be asked? On the other hand, carers will not want to make someone dependent on them. It is not easy to achieve a balance and may need perseverance, so keeping the line of communication open is important.- See the Talking about Pelvic Pain section.